Our Little [REPTILE] Ranch

We must be on some sort of hidden camera show. First it was a water moccasin and then a dragon. Now it is a turtle, another snake, and a little more of our favorite dragon.

So recently we have been synchronizing another group of cows for a flush that we have coming up next week. I have been checking heats like crazy and if I ever see a cow ride another it will be too soon. (I will write a blog about this shortly.) Anyway, when I was driving from one pasture to another, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was a huge buzzard in the middle of a grass field that was recently mowed. But why would this buzzard be doing in the middle of a open field? There was no dead animal that I saw, but I could see this brownish lump. So I decided to investigate and this is what I found.





It was a turtle, and a pretty good sized one. I think that this is a box turtle, but who cares about the specifics. It is a good thing I came because as you can see it was almost lights out for this fella. Since it was Earth Day and all, I decided that I needed to put a rescue mission into action for my shelled friend. So I had a box in the back of the jeep and picked up the turtle and brought him to the house.



First to see my find were the two porch cats, Buttons and Beans. They were rather unimpressed with the turtle. Beans tried to slap him in the face but the turtle must have made some sort of noise, because in mid-swing Beans jumped about 5 feet off the ground.



Buttons also wanted to say hello. He too was unenthused with my find. Oh yeah, dragon also said hello. He is quite the chatty little thing.

On a side note, I do not have a name for dragon. Any thoughts??

Finally Catherine came out to see my new friend. As soon as she saw what it was that I found she yelled out "Mr. TURTLE!!!!" (pronounced: Midder-Durdle). She yelled this with such enthusiasm that you would have thought they were childhood friends. ]

Next we took a couple of close ups of Midder Durdle.





Then I decided to take him down to the creek beside the house and release him.



When I saw this excellent beach front property I knew that it would be a great domain for my new turtle. He was not real sure of what he wanted to do when I sat him down. He just kinda sat there. I was expecting him to come of his shell, tell me thanks for saving him, and then slowly walk into the water waiving as he went.



So after about 15 minutes of him just sitting there, I gave him a little nudge with my foot. Good thing I had my camera on him because he shot off.



He moved so quick this is all I could get.



Also, when I was down by the creek, these stupid birds kept flying all around me trying to get me to leave. But do you notice the good weed kill that I got? There is still a touch of green but that will be gone shortly. Maybe a bazooka this time, I don't know.

The next day, when I got back from judging a showmanship contest, I called Frank to see what was next on the agenda for the day. He said that everything was done for the day, but that he killed a snake. So I jumped on my dragon and flew over to the pens. This is what I saw:

Are you still there? Did you fall back in your chair or run around the house screaming?

This is a chicken snake and although not as deadly as the Coral Snakes, Water Moccasins, Cottonmouths, or Copperheads that we have around this place but still just as scary to this guy. There is also a few alligators down in the swamps of a place that we lease. But I try to stay away from there. I think that a witch lives back there and has nightly sacrifices of birds of prey and stuff like that.

Here is Frank with the snake that he killed. He is not scared of anything - not even a fighting cow coming at him. He thinks of it as a challenge, whereas I think of it as a perfect time to wet my pants and suck my thumb. Anyway, Frank grabbed the snake so I could get a picture of it.

Then after we were done taking the picture of Frank with the snake, we hung it on the fence.

The folklore is that if you hang a snake on a fence it will bring rain. And we did get a little shower yesterday evening. Maybe it was because of this guy.

You may notice that Dragon was not in any of the snake pictures. He told me that he is scared of them and didn't want to get out of the car.

So your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to think of a great name for Dragon. Nothing is off limits. But nothing girly - he is a manly dragon (just not when it comes to snakes, I guess he gets that from me!)

Until Next Time!

Don't be comin' on OUR little ranch!

Today Luke and I left the house with the intention of going antiquing, but got distracted by the prospect of milling around Tractor Supply. We didn't have anything to get, but how can anyone NOT love that store?!

We went in to TSC and left $100 poorer, with several 'treasures' we needed, such as a new garden spade, a $30 container of fly spray for 143 & company in our pen, and Luke's prized find that he feels makes him a real Texan now... a machete. (Is that how you spell it? However you spell it, you can't say it without making me think of the bad man in Big Jake who macheteed that dog!)

Afterwards we went to my Mom's to visit with her and my grandpa. Sure enough, as it does every Spring in Texas, the part of the conversation came up where we discuss any snake sightings/killings of the season. Of course we can stick our chest out over Beans' having the first snake kill of the season back when he was Our Little Assassin.

We left and headed back to our house. I was on the phone with a friend and walked in the house. Not ten seconds later, I hear the back door open up and Luke says, "Where's the gun? There's a huge-a** water moccasin out here!" So I immediate wet my pants (not really, this time) and grab the shotgun. Luke calmly instructs me to get Beans and Buttons and get them on the porch with me, while our Manly Man Luke takes care of the predatory reptile, which obviously was coming after our prized porch cats.

Like a mother hen putting her chicks underneath her wings, I called my trusty little guys Beans and Buttons and lifted them under each arm. I held them close and yelled to Luke and said, "I got 'em!" and then he said, "Ok, get ready." Then I bowed my head (I guess it was instinct) and hung on to my little guys for dear life.

Ka-POWWWWW!

"Ha-HAAAAAA! I blew your head off!!!!" yelled my super enthusiastic newly christened Snake Killing husband.

The kitties weren't even PHASED! They looked at me like, "We deal with snakes all the time with our BARE HANDS (or claws)."

So immediately after this excitement, what do I do? Call my mother, of course. Since she lives just about half a mile down the road, she jumped in her car and gunned it our way. Not ten seconds after I got off the phone with her, I see a cloud of dust and a green blur headed down her driveway. Probably 1 minute after getting off the phone, she was here in our driveway to weigh in on the action.

We evaluated the snake and, due to its slight movement, weren't able to definitively pronounce it dead. So, we called our cow herd manager and Guy-Who-Could-Have-His-Own-Snake-Hunting-Show-On-Animal-Planet, Frank.

We didn't want to shoot the snake again, because Frank gets a real thrill out of almost-dead snakes. He likes to poke and prod them, carry them around on cow sorting sticks, and then put them in the back of his truck to, I can only imagine, chase poor unsuspecting people around with them.

So, Frank came to play coroner. Thankfully, he took the snake away and hung it on a fence somewhere on the ranch to "warn" all its relatives.

Here's photos from the event, which was the most excitement we've had here since the exciting lunch break about a month ago.


Beans was comfortably lounging not 15 feet from the snake at the time of discovery. While I did take him away during the actual shooting event, once we got the "all clear," he came to check the situation out.....



.......and torture the snake.




"Hey, we're not done with you!" — Beans



John Wayne striding over to consult with his fans.

The snake's transportation to his final resting place, wherever that may be.

I wouldn't let him touch it, so Frank supplied some pliers. Luke supplied the face all his own. Thank you hero for protecting us from this snake! Look at you with your gun!

After the excitement of the snake killing, Frank and Luke proudly compared their machetes. Then they went and chopped down some thistle weeds together. Nothing like male bonding. Something about men on this ranch and their machetes... my dad has one, my grandpa has one, Frank has one, and now Luke has his own. Frank's machete is a ghetto macheto though and looks a little less "you-can-buy-at-Tractor-Supply" than Luke's. Frank's machete looks as if it has been handed down from generations, gaining stories and folklore as it is passed on.

I wonder if Frank's machete has ever seen or had contact with El Chupacabra? But... that's another blog.