My Recent Nemesis

First off, it has been a few days since the last post and I really do not know why you guys put up with our tardiness. Feel free to leave rude comments like “Post a new blog punk, or else!”

Back to today’s subject. As the temperature start to get warmer and warmer the weeds around the house start to grow faster and faster. I hate weeds and I really hate weed eating. But I also hate round up. Well I used to. Now it is my new best friend and we have pep talks before I go out and start spraying. I tell it things like “Give it the ole 1-2 punch!”

The reason that I was opposed to herbicides was because when I thought that when people would see the brown strip of grass along the garage or fire pit they would think to themselves that I was just too lazy to run the weed eater. Then one day I was minding my own business just walking about smacking the mess out of any weed in sight, and somehow I got a horrible case of poison ivy all over my arm. I had not even seen any poison ivy around and I have never got the stuff before. I imagine that since I was cutting up all the vegetation that somehow poison ivy flew up on my arm and decided to attack. After that horrible week-long ordeal, I now use herbicides like they are going out of style.

Not only am I now a huge advocate of weed killers but I also take it very seriously. When I mix up my secret potion I make it strong enough that it even kills the rocks. However, today the thistle and wild blackberry vines and other random broadleaves must have known I was coming. For some reason I could not get the sprayer top to open. I tried with all of my might and could not get the lid to unscrew. So I jumped in my car and headed over to steal another sprayer from Catherine’s parents. Guess what? Another dud. I could not open that stupid thing either. With my first two attempts resulting in a huge FAIL, I sped off to the local feed store and gathered a huge arsenal of weed killing ingredients. I got a new sprayer (two gallons no less!), the most expensive herbicide concentrate I could find, and a few ounces of napalm. The weeds were doomed and they didn’t even know it.

Once I got back to the house I was on a mission to destroy every weed in my path. Here what tools I had in my chemical arsenal: 1 gallon of pre-mixed Round-Up TOUGH BRUSH and POISON IVY formula, half a bottle of the herbicide I bought at the feed store, and a whole bottle of some random thing with a skull and crossbones on it that I found in the shed. I put about 2 drops of water in the sprayer and set off on my conquest. (Just kidding... I mixed to the label instructions since I am married to a real rule-follower.)

I am a little afraid that with the wind today my yard will be nothing but pebbles in the morning. Oh well, I didn’t like mowing anyway.

This was my main target today, Ground Zero for the attack on vegetation.



Our yard dead ends at a creek. And the embankment that goes to that creek is too steep to drive down with the lawnmower. It requires a push mower or weed eater. Both of which I do not like. Mainly the push mower because it is self-propelled and tried to drag me over the side of the bridge and drown me.



Here is another view, you can see that it would not be fun to mow/weed eat this area. So what I do, use such a strong mixture of stuff that it melts the leaves when it hits it.



This is another attack zone today. Well not this whole area, but that tiny little patch of tall grass at the end. As you can see it is a long walk down there, especially toting a weed eater. So it all must die.

These previous pictures were the before I sprayed the insta-kill on them. I was going to take some of the grass laying flat this afternoon, but for some reason the weeds are putting up a strong fight. They are not dying at the rate that I wish they would. What is a guy to do? I know, launch round two first thing in the morning. I might get the flame-thrower out if this doesn't work quick enough.

The following pictures represent the twilight of the lives of the weeds. Is that a little morbid? Maybe. Maybe not. If you don't like that mindset, how about just some pictures of the beautiful sunset we had tonight.

Oh, and Buttons wanted to be on the blog to. He told Catherine that he was feeling left out. And that will be the topic of tomorrow's blog, Talking Cats. That's right, Catherine claims that the cats have been talking to her. Last night before we went to bed she said "Do you know what Dixie just told me?!" Stay tuned, you will hear more tomorrow. For now, here's Buttons/Boo-tones/Adam Lambert.